It’s been over 10 years since Beyoncé released her popular single “Irreplaceable” and still there are people quoting the line “to the left, to the left. everything you own in a box to the left” in the midst of a breakup. Once a relationship is done though, where does the material items obtained during the relationship go?

The scenario is common. You meet someone and it seems you’re in love one day and then within the next you are not. In the time of the relationship you both have purchased items for one another and maybe there are personal belongings left behind at the other’s place. There are many people who feel the need to cleanse themselves of their ex once things turn sour and so if they’re nice they may pack things into a box to return to the person or to give away to a local charity. Then there are those who choose a less friendly route and they will discard things into the trash.

But what about items of sentimental value or of monetary worth?

There are a lot of mixed reviews on this. In most instances you may find that people unconsciously hold on to, say, a teddy bear that was received on a special occasion, or an album that has all of their favorite songs on it. People may also find themselves holding on to a piece of jewelry that was gifted to them, often justifying it as not wanting to part with something that’s worth money because they “earned” it during the relationship.

I have read different professional opinions on the matter. There is the suggestion that you should let go of everything no matter what it is because it is the only way to properly move on and gain your sense of “self” back. Then there are other opinions that say that holding on to an item or two is healthy because it says that this person contributed to a part of your growth and you shouldn’t try to eliminate what you may have gained.

I say it’s best to let material items go. Having something lying around that your ex gifted you can definitely affect your growth after the relationship has ended. I say declutter your mind and your closet of all things to do with your ex. If the person truly was a positive factor in your life and they contributed to personal growth that’s cool. You wouldn’t forget that. I don’t think it’s necessary to hold on to physical items. I believe it definitely helps with moving on and getting over.